What makes up a successful marriage? Inquiring minds want to know, right? Actually, it’s something really important to know as so many marriages end up in divorce. It’s a sad statistic, one that a family member of mine recently experienced.
So here are some ideas from my years of having been married. Hard to believe it’s been over 22!
Single years
- Don’t look for Mr or Mrs Right, BE right!
- Get involved in a passion. Meetup.com is great for this!
- Can’t find anything? Create your own group!
- Enjoy your single life. You are blessed!
- Be wholly devoted to God
- Work on yourself as an individual to grow in all ways
Dating years
- Start with a friendship first
- Build a relationship
- Talk and talk and talk
- Create fantastic, beautiful memories
- Keep a holy perspective
- Don’t put yourself into temptation
- Have boundaries
- Be real to one another
- Don’t marry someone for their potential. Do you love the person they are NOW? If they never change, would you be happy?
Marriage years
- Keep Christ in the center of your marriage
- Learn how to express your feelings
- Grow as individuals
- Get help from trusted friends
- Go to marriage conferences
- Read marriage books
- Enjoy sex! A lot! Learn about it!
- Go on regular dates and getaways
- Show appreciation to one another
- Write love notes
- Don’t put off loving each other
- Go to church together
- Have daily devotions together
- Spend regular time just talking and hanging out
- Experience hobbies together
- Grow as individuals
- Encourage each other to grow
- Believe in your spouse
- Listen to your spouse
- Don’t judge your spouse
- Get rid of a habit of criticism
- Give your spouse grace
- Be honest with your spouse
- Do not put yourselves in temptation
- Be honorable with your dealings with others—in other words, don’t be secretly texting someone of the opposite sex behind your spouse’s back
- Get protection for your computers so your spouse is not tempted with porn
- Have accountability partners
- Accept your spouse for who they are
- Don’t accept abuse or manipulation or betrayal
- Realize that the grass is always greener on the other side
- Be grateful for your spouse
- Feelings just are. Learn how to express them
- Don’t argue in front of kids
- Don’t use your kids as weapons against one another
- Have boundaries with each other
- Don’t be a doormat
- Serve one another
- Submit to one another
- Respect your spouse
- Love your spouse more than yourself
- Help your spouse
- Buy presents for your spouse
- If you are a husband, buy her flowers. IF she likes flowers!
- Don’t go to bed angry
- Read the Bible together
- Work on your house together
- Volunteer together
- Plan fun vacations
- Go on walks together
- Watch a special TV show together
- Don’t take on worry or burdens. Give them to God. Give your spouse to God
- Pray for your spouse
- Pray with each other
- Be affectionate with your spouse. Beyond the bedroom
- Kiss your spouse good night
- Hug your spouse
- Do fun hobbies together
- Experience cultural events together
- Be involved in a cause together
- Eat dinner together as a family
- Be on the same page with child rearing together
- Work as a team in your home
- Pursue your own interests and hobbies
- Have your own relationships (wives have women friends, husbands have men friends)
- Be accountable with computers and phones
- Be trustworthy
- Trust your spouse unless proved untrustworthy
- Give each other needed space
- Don’t manipulate or control
- If you are being abused, get out!
I’m sure I could think of more after all these years married to my wonderful husband! May this list inspire you no matter how long you have been married or if you have NEVER been married!
Featured photo by Adobe Stock
Beach couple walking on romantic travel
By Maridav
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